Being a mom can be exhausting, discouraging and incredibly frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I’ve messed up so badly that my kids will be in therapy for years. Sometimes I wish I could just glue my lips together to stop any words from spilling out of my mouth. Sometimes I have to say, “I don’t want to regret something I might say so I need to leave…NOW!”
For me, spanking is a completely unacceptable form of discipline. I believe it damages the spirit and dims the sparkling internal light with which children are born. It’s also ineffective and, if anything, just teaches children that violence is tolerable. I don’t mean to judge those who disagree. Each person has to choose what’s right for her own family. It’s just not a choice I’d make.
But you know what? I think yelling is nearly as bad. No one deserves to be spoken to in a harsh, shameful manner. Where’s the sense of respect for a fellow human being (albeit a little one)? Who’s the adult? Take a deep breath, calm yourself down and push the pause button until you can discuss the matter calmly. Yeah, right. Sounds great in theory, seemingly impossible in reality. I mean, it’s hard to keep cool sometimes.
I don’t even recognize my voice when it’s raised. I really, really don’t like it. I don’t think I heard it sound that way before I became a mother. What is it that pushes my buttons? It simply can’t be as simple as my daughter forgetting her homework a second day (even after a lengthy lecture about how important it is to be responsible). There must be more underlying emotions fueling the fire. But what and why? Does it matter?
I feel so helpless. I know it’s up to her to remember her homework. I know it’s a lesson that she needs to learn. She has to experience the teacher’s disappointment and disapproval. Okay, sure, but what if the teacher doesn’t even seem to notice (until it’s time to evaluate her on grading day).
What’s the appropriate consequence? How am I supposed to guide her? Take away a privilege? Tried that. She forgot the next day, too. Take away another privilege? Seems illogical and ineffective. Didn’t work, why try again?
She’s such a great girl. Really amazing. Maybe I need to just let this one go and let it work itself out. Maybe no attention is the best solution. Find something to do to keep my mind off of it and let it play out.
That’s all I’ve got.
Sometimes being a mom is tiring.